Bilson tapped the top of Marshall’s cubicle. The digital clock on Marshall’s desk had already advanced to 12:05, and he had really been hoping for a moment of piece before the second half of his day started but no such luck.
“What’cha got there, Marshall?”
“It’s a peanut butter sandwich.”
“For lunch! Huh? What, did your Mom pack it for you?”
It wasn’t really a question Marshall thought he ought to answer, instead he deflected. “What are you having for lunch?”
“Flannigan’s, for the third time this week. My team’s not doing so well.”
“Yeah, a little something called the Olympics, Marshall.”
“I’ve heard of them. How is that your team?”
“Boy, you really don’t pay attention do you? Flannigan’s has a special going right now where if you buy a super fries you get a tag with an athlete’s name on it, and if they win you win.”
“Mostly just free sandwiches.”
Danowitz walked down the cube aisle carrying a white bag. “What’re we all talking about?”
“Lunch, what else? What’s in the bag?” asked Bilson.
“Don’t you remember? It’s national support Chicken Grill-It day! I stood in a line for almost an hour to get this sandwich, but I was happy to do it.”
“What’d you get?” asked Marshall, not really interested.
“Chicken sandwich what else? Hey anyone want my pickle? I hate these things.”
As Roshni walked over Marshall was glad he hadn’t toasted his PB&J.
“‘Scuse me guys I just need to get my Tofu out of the fridge.” said Roshni.
“Tofu!” cried Bilson. “Why they hell are you eating that!”
“I’m a vegan. And tofu is great. You really ought to try it sometime. The taste isn’t that good at first but you put the right amount of Chuck’s Chili Sauce on it.”
Bilson faked vomiting, which really was unnecessary but got Danowitz to laugh uncontrollably nonetheless. “Don’t let me sit anywhere near your cube this afternoon. I’ll need a hasmat suit just to talk to you.”
Roshni laughed raucously, though Marshall suspected he didn’t find the joke all that funny either.
“What’s Marshall eating?” Danowitz asked.
“Peanut Butter and Jelly.” answered Bilson “His mom made it for him.”
“Why are you eating PB&J?” asked Roshni.
“I woke up this morning and decided I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s been a while since I’ve had one, and I like the way they taste.”
“What kind of peanut butter do you use?” asked Danowitz.
“Chunky and creamy. Chunky’s too chunky and creamy’s too smooth but together it’s just right.”
“No, I meant brand.”
“I don’t know, JPG I think.”
“You should really switch to BMP, JPG supports gay marriage.”
“I don’t think a peanut butter supports anything. Except maybe the peanuts suspended in the butter.”
“You shouldn’t eat butter.” Roshni said. “Butter comes from an animal.”
“You’re right, a cow. And cows need to be milked or they’re extremely uncomfortable. If some of that milk wants to join up with peanuts it’s fine by me.”
“Did you get that jelly sponsored by Zascar racing?” asked Bilson.
Marshall took a bite of his sandwich and smiled.
One response to “Forty Minute Story (“Lunch”)”
Personally – the only products I purchase that provide open support of anything – is underwear.