I’m a nice guy if you get to know me.
I know I seem hard on the outside. Well, on the inside too actually. But I like people, really I do.
It’s true that I’ve spent a lot of years doing the lone wolf thing, on the road all by myself, never staying in one place too long. But I used to have friends. I know how to be social.
Granted, all me and my mates used to do was bang into each other, but what group of guys doesn’t have a little fun rough housin’. Sure bits of us were broken from time to time but that’s life, you get a few cuts and scrapes.
But now I’m gonna die and it’s all because of a girl.
A real clingy one too. She’s been pullin’ at me ever since she first lay eyes on me. Hell, maybe even before that. I was mindin’ my own business, visiting some of my cousins when I first lay eyes on her.
She was so … blue.
Not sad mind you. But more like blue and innocent and pure. Virginal even. Unspoiled.
You can see the appeal.
But she’s a trickster. I didn’t stand a chance with her. She’s had her eye on me, and she’s been pulling me closer ever since. Already the air between us is becoming warmer. It won’t be long before she pulls me to her in one first, last, fatal embrace.
And all with him watching too.
See, she’s not as innocent as she looks. She’s brought men to her before. One in particular had such an impact on her he took a piece of her with him, and he’s been hangin’ around ever since.
Still, he did try to warn me. Not that there’s anything I could have done. And he isn’t gonna stop me, for fear that she’ll change her mind, and want him for another tumble.
That’s all women seem to want men for anyway, a little hay-howdy. Maybe kill a few spiders, or in this case lizards or giant birds or whatever the hell they are.
Wham bam and then extinction.
Earth’s a heartless bitch.
PS. Brian, it’s been a long time coming, but I finally got this one together. Hope you enjoyed!
One response to “Forty Minute Story “All a girl wants is a big rock””
The humor in this story was very dry, though it got off to a rocky start. It was dark comedy most of the way, but had some real atmosphere at the end there. And your knowledge of physics lent the tale a certain gravity. But knowing your aversion to outlines, you probably didn’t planet that way.
I mean, uh. Nice work Ben. 🙂 I’d forgotten I asked for this!