Tag Archives: Poetry

Review: Haiku Princess – Poems in Ascending Order of Profanity

Haiku Princess: Poems in Ascending Order of Profanity


Writer – H. O. Tanager

This book of poems by H. O. Tanager delivers on its promise of ascending profanity, while doing little to prevent the dip in quality at each stage. The book is divided into five stages: Cradle, Maiden, Lady, Crone and Holy One, which seem to bare little relationship with the subject matter of the poems.

What makes the later sections boring is less the use of crass words for ejaculate, but the fact that several of the earlier Haiku’s in the cradle section are actually quite clever and evoke more of the imagery, mood and juxtaposition that good Haiku achieves.

Take this example from cradle:

Post big-bang,

did the infinitesimal point

sigh, wonder why we’d gone?

or this one:

How many times do I

have to tell you not to

lick people’s food?

Both are clever in their own way. The first is probably a more classic example of what everyone expects Haiku to be. The second is funny less because of the subject matter, and more because that phrase becomes a Haiku with a little rearranging.

And then we have this (probably one of the cleaner things I can share from crone):

What to say when she

catches you on a porn website.

You’re just in time.

I guess we do get a bit of a switch in the last line, so this is better than some. But I don’t know if it’s funny. Let me clear that I’m actually not against bawdy poetry (I am the owner of a book of 100 limericks by Isaac Asimov). But if it’s going to be Haiku, then it needs to surprise, and probably amuse. There are many examples in this book that fail to do either, and a few might even manage to offend.

The illustrations seem fairly disconnected from the subject matter, and are in different styles in each section. The author is talented at image manipulation, if not manipulating words into images.

Honestly, the best part of the book is the about the author. The author apparently has a background in engineering, technical writing, performance art, psychology, non-profit arts organizing and parenting. More overlap than I would have expected, though a bit of a hodge-podge.

You wanna read good Haiku? Check out Brian’s Haiku 365 project. It’s free and more likely to amuse or enlighten.

(2 stars | Maybe a couple of OK bits, but probably not worth reading the rest)


Filed under Book Reviews

Author Interview: Brian D. Buckley

Well it’s finally happened, Brian’s gone and published himself a book. To mark this august occasion we sat down and had a little tête-à-tête to discuss the new book and anything else that came to mind. Enjoy!


What led to the creation of this book?

Nothing too exciting. I am a guy with a lot of poems, and one thing led to another. Also, I like seeing my name on rectangles.

I know you’re a man who will create a poem on a dare, but what inspires you normally?

Philosophy and feelings, I guess. And I like the challenge of writing in a particular form, especially the sonnet.

How did you select which poems to include? Got a favorite?

Basically, I included all the poems I’ve ever written that I still like. My favorite of the serious poems is “The Sin of Icarus.” My favorite funny one is “A Literary Agent Rejects a Subpar Query Letter.”

Did you write any new material for the book? How about rewrites?

Nothing new, but plenty of revision. “Atlantis” was originally four stanzas, and I cut it to one. “Song of My World” also got a makeover. But some poems I didn’t change at all.

Why did you choose to self-publish?

Saying the market for poems is a little tight is like saying space is a bit dark. By self-publishing, I can at least get my book out there for anyone who wants it. I’m unlikely to sell mass volumes, and I’m fine with that.

What was your experience using CreateSpace?

Good! Slick interface, quick turnaround, no issues that I’ve discovered yet. And it’s an easy way to get a book listed on Amazon.

So “My Lady”…what’s the story behind that?

No real-life story behind “My Lady.” I just thought it would be fun to imagine a sorceress using her powers to mess with somebody.

Where did you get those great pictures?

All public domain. I discovered most through Google Image Search and Pixabay. The shuttle launch is a NASA photo that I doctored in Paint.NET, and the woman looking sad is actually an engraving by Albrecht Durer that I saw in Dublin, Ireland.

Ever thought about reading any of these out loud?

I hadn’t, but I could be persuaded. Think anyone would be interested in that?

I noticed you used some fractal imagery in your poems. Got any haikus about the Mandelbrot set?

All the plane’s a stage,

All these curves merely players.

Hehehehe, butt.

If you were a game for the Nintendo 64, which game would you be and why?

Rocket: Robot on Wheels. Because it’s like Mario 64 except the Italian plumber is a robot, the Wing Cap is a paint gun hovercraft, and the fire-breathing turtle is an evil raccoon. As you can plainly see, this describes me perfectly.

Brian’s book is The Witching Hour. You can download a PDF for free or purchase a physical copy through Amazon (Kindle version is in the works and will be released soon).

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Filed under Books + Publishing

Writing Within Limits

All of last week’s posts were written on my Kindle Touch. I was riding in the back seat of a car with little else to do but read and write. The text editor I use is limited to 3099 characters or maybe around 500 words. I am a “prolific” writer usually, churning out 1-2K without much trouble.

On the Touch it’s different story. Between hunting and pecking and the need to correct mistakes as I go, I find that I write not only slower but more succinctly. And, strange to relate, I think this is actually a good exercise, one that more of us should try.

I’m constantly analyzing my stats, as most bloggers are prone to do, and shorter posts seem to generate more views. I don’t know if this is because they are tighter and more polished, or if people just don’t have time to look at a more drawn out argument.

I like doing projects like NaNoWriMo, or the 3 day novel labor day challenge (maybe next year). Still, my first draft of my latest novel is almost 200K long and I’d like to cut it down to 125K. That’s like cutting a novel out of a novel.

Poetry is all about writing within constraints, whether it be sonnets or haiku. But prose, fictional or otherwise also benefits from deliberate word choice, structure and brevity.

What ways have you tried to tighten your prose?

PS: This post was also written on the Touch. Longer car ride than I thought!


Filed under Writing

3 Ways To Say I Love You (In Code)

Example 1:

#include <iostream>
#include <cstdlib>

using namespace std;

int main() {
  int two;
  two = 1;
  while(two == 1) {
    cout << "I love you little red haired girl\n";

Example 2:

#include <iostream>
#include <cstdlib>

using namespace std;

void myLoveGrowsDeeper(int lvl);

int main() {
  int lvl = 1;
  cout << "My love grows deeper";
  cout << " every day." << endl;

void myLoveGrowsDeeper(int lvl) {
  if(lvl == 99) {
  cout << " and deeper ";

Example 3 (Turtle Commands, Pixels, Degrees):

  LEFT 1
  LEFT 1


Filed under Trube On Tech